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Have a satirical new year

What can I say about 2003? It was a good year, not just for me, but for many. But it was one of mixed emotions.

This year saw a local soldier, Sgt. Waylon Murphree, help capture Saddam Hussein. On the other hand, it witnessed numerous American lives tragically lost in that pursuit, such as Command Sgt. Maj. Jerry Wilson.

On a personal note, many good things have happened to me this year. This is the year I was married, and yes, that is a good thing. I also started serving as youth director at Powell Baptist in 2003.

Of course, 2003 saw the start of The McDuffie Mirror. I was blessed enough to be part of that from the beginning.

But as the year draws to a close, those old familiar rumblings start to happen once again. People long for a change to better themselves in the year to come. That's right -- it's time for New Year's resolutions.

This year, I'd like to share some of my resolutions from across the county with the readers of the Mirror. (For those of you keeping score at home, this is where the satire begins. Satire, noun: Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity -- For those of you unsure what that means.)

On with the resolutions:

*For "The" city and the county to continue to work exclusively together, leaving out any other insignificant areas along the way.

*For the Recreation Department and the Board of Education to actually start caring what happens to and in the Dearing Gym.

*For parents of McDuffie County students to work on realizing that an eight-week summer is still long enough to send your kids to underwater basket weaving camp.

*For McDuffie County to pull out its "number one" industry from the bottom of the forgotten pile, dust it off, and work toward what it already claims.

*For the county to build countless bypasses crisscrossing through wretched untouched pasture land and ridding them forever of the curse of horses.

*For people's fear of mosquito-borne diseases to subside so that people are able to go outdoors once again.

*For officials to turn a blind eye to wrecks and congestion along Washington Road so that no progress is made toward a center turn lane.

*For teen pregnancies to continue to decline, and for some people to stop hiding from that truth.

*For McDuffie County to widen the push to keep all nationally recognized, sit-down restaurants out of the county for good.

*And for people to realize that meetings by themselves are not the answer.

Well, that feels better. I 'm glad to get that off my chest. Resolutions are such a good way to make things happen ... for about a week. Oh well, so much for those changes.

(End satire.)

Web posted on Wednesday, December 31, 2003

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