I have a problem.
Whenever I sit in a chair, I have company - the Sand Man. When I sit still, I fall asleep. The Sand Man has been my ever-faithful companion for as long as I can remember. I remember he was most conspicuous during 10th grade geometry.
Don't get me wrong, it's not completely a bad thing. After all, road trips fly by. "What? We're here? But I just woke up!" And yes, even if the chair I'm sitting in has a steering wheel in front of it, the Sand Man is there, too. I've learned that those zipper-bumps on the side of the interstate can really agitate relaxed passengers.
Other times I want to stay awake - at the movie theater, in church, and at my desk at work. I have learned to snack at the theater to stay awake. At church, I take detailed notes during the sermon and play thumb war with my son (his friends are all jealous).
But I haven't found the magic cure for staying awake at work. A friend, realizing my weakness with the Sand Man, sent me an e-mail. The subject was "Top 10 Things to Say When Caught Sleeping at Your Desk." Here are my favorites: "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to." "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White Out. You probably got here just in time." "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?" "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?"
And the last excuse will also help me after recuperating from thumb war at church - raise your head slowly and say "...in Jesus name, Amen."
Speaking of sitting and fighting sleep, I had plenty of opportunity last Sunday night in the Emergency Room at McDuffie Regional Medical Center. I was there with my son, who was experiencing more dizziness than usual for an adolescent. After two days of dizziness succumbed to upchucking, I over-rode his protests and took him to the ER. Who knew a chili dog wouldn't compliment dizziness? The staff at MRMC didn't give the Sand Man a fleeting chance. I am grateful to them. Their service was fast, efficient and kind all at the same time. Turns out an ear infection caused the problems, and not bad chili. If the timing had been better - say, in the middle of the day rather than the middle of the night - I might have realized my advantage and challenged him to thumb war as he lay there on the hospital bed.
Instead, I'll just say "...in Jesus name, Amen."