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Sports Talk: No longer the one and lonely

Thomson Bulldog radio play-by-play man Dennis Sanders will no longer be able to refer to longtime statistician Bill Beckum as the "One and the Lonely, Wild Bill Beckum." He can stick with wild but the lonely part is about to become history. Bill is finally biting the dust. He will marry Ms. Jenifer Mullins later this month.

Knowing how tight he is I asked Bill just how many pages the pre-nuptial agreement would be that he would require Jenifer to sign. Bill has dodged marriage like the plague for many years. He has fought off any would-be suitor longing for the numbers to his overseas bank accounts. Bill has found someone that he loves and trusts. He's worried solely about concerns during marriage, not anything else.

Bill admitted to me that there indeed would be a formal pre-nuptial understanding, with only one point. "I will not give up Thomson High football on Fall Friday nights," said Bill. "Anything else, including my fortune, will be open for negotiation, but not Friday night football," he said.

She better get that in writing and notarized! That declaration ensures that Bill will be out of the house for at least ten evenings a year, likely even more.

This is a man after my own heart. He has his priorities in order. Keep in mind all the things that Bill could have put his foot down on. He could have insisted that the toilet seat stay up, the toothpaste get squeezed in the middle and the dirty dishes stay in the sink for at least a weak, to save water. He chose football instead.

He likely wants to check the car's odometer and ration gasoline to control Jenifer's shopping trips. I'm sure he's considered limiting her to sardines while he enjoys prime rib. He probably wants her to wear the same pair of shoes for at least a year with the addition of inner soles for another 12 months.

Bill, being ever so shrewd, will use his one ace in the hole on Thomson High football. The Bulldog offense will be relieved that their yardage will be correctly accounted for. Dennis Sanders will face the only problem. He'll have to break a habit of many years and find a new moniker for Wild Bill. I can't wait to hear it. It'll be at least half as exciting as life will be for the future Mrs. Beckum.

Congratulations, Bill and Jenifer, and good luck.

Speaking of being charitable, I read where New York Giants draftee Eli Manning cut a deal with punter Jeff Feagles. Manning agreed to pay for Feagles' family vacation in Florida if he would relinquish jersey number 10 to him. That's how it works in the NFL.

Chris Mohr had number 7 for the Falcons when Michael Vick was drafted. Vick paid Mohr to give up number 7. Where did the money go? Chris donated it to the Boys and Girls Club of Thomson. I don't think he did it just because his family didn't want to go to Florida.

Web posted on Thursday, May 6, 2004

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