Pity the poor clown.
British performer Barney Baloney has been banned from making balloon animals because some children may be allergic to latex, according to an AFP report earlier this week.
The latest ban is just part of what seems to be an assault on the painted dude's act. He's also been asked to stop making balloon guns (although swords are still apparently OK). He's also had to stop using a bubble machine because a child could slip.
The latest latex ban came from a supermarket, whose spokesman said it was all about the welfare of children.
To save one or two kids from breaking out, we'll spoil the fun for the rest of them. Wouldn't you think the parents of these kids would keep them away from the balloon guy?
Oh wait. That would require a degree of parental responsibility. And we all know how popular a concept that is in today's world.
Meanwhile, there's one set of parents I'm not worried about. Kristopher and Priscilla Wells welcomed Ephraim Alexander into the world last Friday.
For all his nervousness in the months leading up to Ephraim's arrival, Kristopher will make a great dad. He is firmly rooted in his faith, just as his wife, parents, sister and other family members.
As long as he can control the influence of a certain "uncle," Ephraim will be just fine.
Speaking of that "uncle," I'm almost starting to believe Al Gore: Global warming is real.
And it's apparently a little angry right now.
With local temperatures crossing the century mark on a daily basis for the last few weeks, I'm becoming more and more of a curmudgeon. I'm cranky. I'm tired all the time. The air conditioner at my house doesn't even start to cool the air during the day. And I'm tired of feeling like I'm going to sweat out a vital organ every time I walk outside.
I know it's been this hot before. Or maybe it hasn't.
The Environment Georgia Research & Policy Center claims it's hotter than ever. Other climatology experts say there's no real trend. And NASA recently revamped its climate data to show the hottest year ever was more than 70 years ago.
But you know what people say about opinions: Throw enough state and federal funding at a subject, and you can get whatever opinion you want.
Still, I guess it could be worse.
Although, quite honestly, I'm still trying to figure that scenario out. But I'm sure it involves an army of depressed clowns battling fanatical latex haters with balloon guns and inflatable swords.
Or maybe my brain has been finally cooked by the heat.