You know that battle between mother-in-laws and wives that seems to flare in the life of every husband/son?
Well, the battle in my life is a sweet one, and what's at stake are my just desserts.
Now, for those of you who know me, y'all understand that dessert is one of my favorite things. For the record, I got it honest. My mother would rather have a five course meal that starts with dessert, ends with dessert and has something sweet in the middle servings.
But my wife sees my ever-expanding midsection and puts her foot down.
The issue hit home with me a few weeks ago while we were in the drive-thru at a local fast food restaurant. She was in the driver's seat, and I was expecting her to parrot my order to the voicebox. Instead, my message hit a filter. Six burgers became four. A large fry became a regular fry. That large Coke I wanted became a medium Diet Coke. I went from binge eating heaven to value meal not-quote-heaven.
And, we agreed, that ordering would now be the privilege of the driver - a cease-fire in the burger battle.
Which, I discovered last week, was just a ruse to lull me into bloated complacency. I ended up on the losing end of that war.
After a downtown dinner last week, Miriam and I were heading home when I - as the driver and controller of dining decisions - decided to stop for dessert.
I had my blinker on, ready for a royal dessert, when the rules of engagement changed.
"What are you doing?!"
"I'm the driver, and I'm stopping here for dessert."
"Well, just remember the driver doesn't have to go home with me."
So, ambushed and defeated, I kept going.
And, yes, we did finally stop for dessert. It wasn't my first choice, but I didn't order the kiddie serving that was suggested by my wife.
Call it driver's pejorative.
MEANWHILE, college football is still a few weeks off, but some of our local players are getting some pretty positive press across the nation.
Take, for example, Jasper Brinkley. He and twin, Casper, are on defense for the South Carolina Gamecocks. And the experts at Sporting News have taken notice. In their Aug. 25 issue - the special college football preview double issue - Jasper is listed among three SEC players who are "Ready to be discovered."
Of course, for those of us who remember his exploits in the Brickyard and his stellar seasons at Georgia Military College, there's really no "discovering" to take place.
By the way, mark your calendars for Sept. 9. That's the day the Brinkley brothers and the rest of the Gamecocks play host to Danny Verdun Wheeler and the Georgia Bulldogs.
And it's a day that should make Thomson Head Coach Luther Welsh and Defensive Coordinator John Barnett very proud.