There are days I wish I had a camera crew following my every move.
Saturday was not one of those days.
It started rough enough. Miriam and I had company coming into town so we were up at 7:30 a.m. and on the way to Wal-Mart. After a little shopping and a fast-food breakfast break, it was back home for her and out to Pine Top Farm for me.
I was looking forward to watching Glenn Wilson's cattle drive. My grandfather raised cows here and there throughout my life, but he never had enough to drive across his Greene County farm.
Camera in tow, I boarded Chris Harrison's all-terrain golf car and followed the herd of horses toward the drove of cattle.
We made it across the farm without major incident -- save the one runaway horse and arm-full of green horse goop I got while holding Glenn's mount as he chased the errant steed.
Along the way, I talked with Chris about people we both knew and the fun he's had trudging through the woods, riding horses and fishing out at Pine Top.
When we reached the cows, Chris cut around a pond to take up the rear. Instead, we found ourselves in the middle of a hundred or so hungry cows. Not a problem normally -- I don't mind cows. But Chris had loaded the car with green range cubes, which is like crack for cows. They are addicted to it and will lick and nudge you until they get all you have.
Somewhere along the way, I stepped out of the car, Chris left, and I started following the processional on foot. I never should have done that. Ever.
Obviously, I was moving slower than the rest of the group, so I took a shortcut through the woods to get ahead of the pack. Thirty minutes later, I got out of the woods -- on the complete opposite side of a huge field from the group. I was bleeding from both arms, exhausted and muddy. The good news is I did some pro bono briar-clearing for the Wilsons.
But that was the only good news. It was after 10 a.m., I was at least a 15-minute walk from the car, and I had promised my wife I'd be home by 9:30 or so. And my cell phone was dead. (Probably a misplaced voodoo doll shot from across town.)
For the record, I never saw Chris again. (Apparently, his all-terrain transporter wasn't. It probably should be called "all-terrain, except mud," but that would just kill sales.)
Now, a little housekeeping.
For those of you looking in this week's edition of The Mirror for Faces and Places, please be patient. We're tweaking our schedules a little bit. We thought is was a little overwhelming to include Inside Track and Faces and Places in the first edition of each month, so we're pushing Faces and Places out two weeks. So you'll have to wait until then to see some of your friends and neighbors.