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The anti-Thanksgiving

Two years ago I used this space on Thanksgiving Day to rant about something for which I was not thankful. Last year, I vented my frustration over being locked inside the stadium after Thomson's loss to Dougherty in Albany.

Anyone beginning to see a pattern here? Like maybe I'm one of those glass-is-half-empty kinds of guys. Maybe I've gotten too used to pricking myself on the needle of "horrific" that should be forever lost in the haystack of "excellent."

Who am I to break with that long-standing tradition? No one. That's right, no one.

So without any further ado, here is this year's Ridin' the Pine Thanksgiving list of people I'd like to smack upside the head for one reason or another.

No. 5 - The guy who runs Fox News, Rupert Murdoch. That's got to be a comedy channel, right? I mean, who really takes a news organization seriously when they send out memos planning which news they can cover that will most scare voters toward the right?

No. 4 - The idiot who pulled out in front of my sister while we were driving to the Roxy in Atlanta. We had waited through three lights to turn left and were almost to the venue for the Switchfoot concert when this guy - with a banged up car - suddenly swerved in front of us and almost caused an accident.

He got to turn during that light; we didn't. Unlike the rush hour traffic, at least the concert was awesome.

No. 3 - The Oakland Raiders' Randy Moss. I was so happy on fantasy football draft day when I picked him. He's been a stellar wide receiver for his entire career, but it seems when the team isn't winning, he isn't happy.

And when Randy isn't happy no one is happy. He's dropped more passes this year than ever before because he claims he can't concentrate while on a losing team.

No. 2 - Whoever fires a coach without giving him enough of a chance to prove himself. It's contagious these days, and it's quickly making its way down the ranks toward high school.

Come on people, this isn't the pros; these are teenagers. Winning is nice, but not everyone can dominate on a consistent basis. Let the kids learn the game and about life, first and foremost.

No. 1 - People who have a negative attitude about everything. Seriously, these people drag everyone down with them. Whether it's about work, school, church or family, people who complain about everything should be given a nice swift smack upside the head. Maybe it will knock them back into a positive frame of mind.

Here goes. Ouch! See there, I followed the advice of my own pontification.

And it works, too. Have a great Thanksgiving everyone.

Web posted on Thursday, November 23, 2006

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