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Hoops time is here

It's time to hoop it up.

That's right my friends, basketball season is upon us.

While the National Basketball Association's season started a month ago, I really don't pay much attention to it until June when the playoffs wrap up.

Seriously, that season is way too long. Cut it in half, and then it's only moderately painful.

On the local front, it looks like Briarwood and Thomson will both have pretty strong teams.

College-wise, my team (and alma mater) Wake Forest clobbered Indiana last week, which had me scrambling for all of the latest information on how good the Demon Deacons will fare this year. One problem: the entire ACC looks to be strong. UNC looks like they're back, Duke and Maryland look stronger, and I'm a little scared of NC State and Georgia Tech. It'll be a tough year for sure, but I for one can't wait to see how it all falls together.

I sorely resent the fact that during my tenure at Wake Forest we never had a particularly good team. Despite the fact that we made the field of 64 almost every year I was a student, I'd go so far as to say that we never really were that good. You can chalk that up as a result of the atrocity known as Odom-ball, Coach Dave Odom's insistence on making the game a half-court affair. It was incredibly painful to watch.

It didn't help that we had one of the most overrated players in college basketball, Robert O'Kelly. The guy's career three-point percentage probably didn't eclipse 30, and yet he made Sportscenter almost every night.

Hilarious side note: A basketball player, who I knew personally, registered an Instant Messenger screen name as "PassItNumberFour". If you guessed that Roberto's number was four, give yourself a cookie.

Of course, Number Four was better on the hardwood than I ever was. Suffice to say, I'm absolutely horrible at it. I know, I know, what a shock. You see, I was blessed/cursed with exceptionally long legs in relation to the rest of my body. This unfortunate physical trait renders most of my athletic skills nonexistent.

I went out -- and made -- my middle school basketball team in sixth grade. I was so incredibly uncoordinated that I had problems making a layup. Oh, I should mention that everyone made the team, regardless of skill level. I was one of three members of the team's fourth string. I got into a handful of games, touching the ball only occasionally. Not sure if I ever dribbled the ball. I think I either a) passed it immediately or b) lost it out of bounds when I did get it.

Elwood Hamilton's career line in basketball probably reads something like this:

Games Played: 6; Minutes per game: 3.1; Assists per game: 0.1; Points per game: 0.0; Fouls per game: 0.0; Rebounds per game: 0.0; Turnovers per game: 2.3.

I think my notification letter saying I've made my high school hall of fame is in the mail.

Even if you stink, like I do, enjoy the games. Basketball at least has this going for it: it's played indoors.



Web posted on Thursday, December 11, 2003











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